Review: Big Bad Red Blend by Once Upon a Vine

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I usually choose my wine based on the label. I bought this wine because I thought the label was stupid. “The Big Bad Red Blend” by “Once Upon a Vine”. Come on. That’s stupid, and I was stupid for buying it.

I would write more about this wine, but I’m scared of getting sued for slander. 

Tastes like: cough syrup and ass

Pairs well with: anger. I wan’t my $6 back. 

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Review: Agua Negra Merlot (2013)

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FYI: No more hiatus.

So – I’ve been gone a while and I figured I need to drink more wine for the benefit of my follower(s) (thanks mom!) Remember: I’m doing it all for you. I’m saving the world from crappy cheap wine.

Speaking of saving the world, on to my first review of 2014 (uhhh… it’s June??)

Agua Negra Merlot — 2013.

I received this wine courtesy of Club W (link below). Bottom line: It’s delicious. I never want this bottle to end. I poured myself a glass, you know, since it’s Wednesday, and called my sister. She is graduating tomorrow. Proud of her, shes a star, etc. and so forth. After our heart-to-heart I put the TV on. Guess what movie was playing! Armageddon. Yes. With Ben Affleck. That movie NEEDS this wine.

I started watching. I came in near the end where Bruce Willis is like “Take care of my daughter, Ben Affleck” and Ben Affleck is like “oh. okay. I guess” and Bruce Willis is like “seriously dude. I am going to end my life for the benefit of America and crap” and then Ben Affleck says “oh. okay. I guess” with his pretty teeth. Yeah. Yum. Anyway, long story short, I was bawling my eyes out. Bruce Willis gets on the space-skype with Liv Tyler (his daughter) and he says “Hey uh so pretty much I’m going to die in space with asteroids and crap” and Liv Tyler is like “but I don’t understand”. Idiot. Can’t you read. Listen better. Anyway, yeah. That movie sucks. This wine made it better.

I wish I knew more about wine because then I could say fun things like “palette” and “angular” and “complex”. Screw that. You know what you got yourself in to when you started reading this here blog.

Pairs well with: The near death of Ben Affleck.

 

For a good time: http://www.clubw.com/624193

 

Updates soon – I can only drink so quickly!

ImageI’m so happy that I have a few followers now – What a surprising turn of events!

I have a few more bottles to review, but the sad truth is, I’m almost out of wine. 

I’ve been spending time trying to research wine clubs or online wine deals and apps to help me more wisely choose and review upcoming wine purchases.  If I find some good ones, I’ll post them. If YOU find good ones, please feel free to leave any suggestions in the comments section. 

I’ll keep posting – more to come!

Review: Vestini Trebbiano (2005)

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A friend of mine came to my apartment for a movie night. I asked him to bring wine, because it’s only polite. He brings a bottle of red and a bottle of white. I don’t really drink white wine, and this is probably the only bottle of white that I’m going to review any time soon.

So–  we don’t drink it. I think we end up watching “Land Before Time IV” on Netflix. Not important. The next morning, I go with my son to the farmers market by my house to buy some spices from the Zesty herb and spice guy. Not important. Long story short, I come home and I make this fantastic herb-chicken and pasta dish. I decide to venture out of my box and crack open the bottle of white wine.

Well. I was surprised at how sweet it was… It was a little bubbly– as if it were champagne at one point but then forgot and gave up. I only had one glass, because it tasted pretty disgusting after I got over the fancy feeling of attempting to pair actual wine with actual food.

I think that pretty much sums up this wine. I’m having trouble finding the bottle or any information about it online. My friend told me that he got it at the little run down liquor store by my house and I highly doubt that he paid more than $6 for it.

Pairs well with: The chicken and pasta dish that I spent and hour on that my son wouldn’t touch.

Review: Purple Moon Shiraz (2010)

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I got this wine as a birthday gift from my dear friend Emily (thanks, Emily!). This wine was a treat, and after some extensive Google searching, I found that you can buy it at Trader Joe’s. So- I had a glass or few to finish off my Sunday night two weeks back. After enjoying, I not only forgot to cork it, but I forgot to put it in the fridge for FOUR days (sorry, Emily!). I had a friend over and I was out of wine (oops…). I suggested finishing off the Purple Moon bottle, even though it had been sitting out. It wasn’t poison. It was actually still quite delicious. All was a success.

This wine pairs well with: Red pepper hummus and pita chips from Fresh and Easy

Best enjoyed: Loudly criticizing reruns of Toddlers and Tiaras

Review: Smoking Loon Pinot Noir (2011)

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This has been one of my go-to favorites for a while. It’s passable for good wine if you pour it all in a few glasses and throw the bottle away. Your guests will never know that you only like them $7 worth. Kind of like that that horrible woman in the Glade candle commercial. She peels off the label of her crappy candle and swears on her life that it’s French. Then her friends come over and they are like “No Sheila, you’re a dirty liar. You know you get your candles in the aisle next to the cat food. This is why we called this intervention”. Stupid Sheila. Long story short this wine gets the job done.