Review: Agua Negra Merlot (2013)

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FYI: No more hiatus.

So – I’ve been gone a while and I figured I need to drink more wine for the benefit of my follower(s) (thanks mom!) Remember: I’m doing it all for you. I’m saving the world from crappy cheap wine.

Speaking of saving the world, on to my first review of 2014 (uhhh… it’s June??)

Agua Negra Merlot — 2013.

I received this wine courtesy of Club W (link below). Bottom line: It’s delicious. I never want this bottle to end. I poured myself a glass, you know, since it’s Wednesday, and called my sister. She is graduating tomorrow. Proud of her, shes a star, etc. and so forth. After our heart-to-heart I put the TV on. Guess what movie was playing! Armageddon. Yes. With Ben Affleck. That movie NEEDS this wine.

I started watching. I came in near the end where Bruce Willis is like “Take care of my daughter, Ben Affleck” and Ben Affleck is like “oh. okay. I guess” and Bruce Willis is like “seriously dude. I am going to end my life for the benefit of America and crap” and then Ben Affleck says “oh. okay. I guess” with his pretty teeth. Yeah. Yum. Anyway, long story short, I was bawling my eyes out. Bruce Willis gets on the space-skype with Liv Tyler (his daughter) and he says “Hey uh so pretty much I’m going to die in space with asteroids and crap” and Liv Tyler is like “but I don’t understand”. Idiot. Can’t you read. Listen better. Anyway, yeah. That movie sucks. This wine made it better.

I wish I knew more about wine because then I could say fun things like “palette” and “angular” and “complex”. Screw that. You know what you got yourself in to when you started reading this here blog.

Pairs well with: The near death of Ben Affleck.

 

For a good time: http://www.clubw.com/624193

 

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Review: Purple Moon Shiraz (2010)

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I got this wine as a birthday gift from my dear friend Emily (thanks, Emily!). This wine was a treat, and after some extensive Google searching, I found that you can buy it at Trader Joe’s. So- I had a glass or few to finish off my Sunday night two weeks back. After enjoying, I not only forgot to cork it, but I forgot to put it in the fridge for FOUR days (sorry, Emily!). I had a friend over and I was out of wine (oops…). I suggested finishing off the Purple Moon bottle, even though it had been sitting out. It wasn’t poison. It was actually still quite delicious. All was a success.

This wine pairs well with: Red pepper hummus and pita chips from Fresh and Easy

Best enjoyed: Loudly criticizing reruns of Toddlers and Tiaras

Review: Smoking Loon Pinot Noir (2011)

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This has been one of my go-to favorites for a while. It’s passable for good wine if you pour it all in a few glasses and throw the bottle away. Your guests will never know that you only like them $7 worth. Kind of like that that horrible woman in the Glade candle commercial. She peels off the label of her crappy candle and swears on her life that it’s French. Then her friends come over and they are like “No Sheila, you’re a dirty liar. You know you get your candles in the aisle next to the cat food. This is why we called this intervention”. Stupid Sheila. Long story short this wine gets the job done.

Review: Yellow Tail Shiraz

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If you have $5 and a Rite-Aid near by, you’re in luck! This wine, in my opinion, the most drinkable of the super-cheap wines. If you and your friends drink this wine and have a discussion, don’t be surprised if the conversation turns out to be a back and forth of “wow. I can’t believe how good this shitty wine is!”. I declare Yellow Tail Shiraz the Diet Coke of  red wine. Note the screw top for when you’re feeling REALLY classy!