Review: Big Bad Red Blend by Once Upon a Vine



I usually choose my wine based on the label. I bought this wine because I thought the label was stupid. “The Big Bad Red Blend” by “Once Upon a Vine”. Come on. That’s stupid, and I was stupid for buying it.

I would write more about this wine, but I’m scared of getting sued for slander. 

Tastes like: cough syrup and ass

Pairs well with: anger. I wan’t my $6 back. 


Review: Agua Negra Merlot (2013)


FYI: No more hiatus.

So – I’ve been gone a while and I figured I need to drink more wine for the benefit of my follower(s) (thanks mom!) Remember: I’m doing it all for you. I’m saving the world from crappy cheap wine.

Speaking of saving the world, on to my first review of 2014 (uhhh… it’s June??)

Agua Negra Merlot — 2013.

I received this wine courtesy of Club W (link below). Bottom line: It’s delicious. I never want this bottle to end. I poured myself a glass, you know, since it’s Wednesday, and called my sister. She is graduating tomorrow. Proud of her, shes a star, etc. and so forth. After our heart-to-heart I put the TV on. Guess what movie was playing! Armageddon. Yes. With Ben Affleck. That movie NEEDS this wine.

I started watching. I came in near the end where Bruce Willis is like “Take care of my daughter, Ben Affleck” and Ben Affleck is like “oh. okay. I guess” and Bruce Willis is like “seriously dude. I am going to end my life for the benefit of America and crap” and then Ben Affleck says “oh. okay. I guess” with his pretty teeth. Yeah. Yum. Anyway, long story short, I was bawling my eyes out. Bruce Willis gets on the space-skype with Liv Tyler (his daughter) and he says “Hey uh so pretty much I’m going to die in space with asteroids and crap” and Liv Tyler is like “but I don’t understand”. Idiot. Can’t you read. Listen better. Anyway, yeah. That movie sucks. This wine made it better.

I wish I knew more about wine because then I could say fun things like “palette” and “angular” and “complex”. Screw that. You know what you got yourself in to when you started reading this here blog.

Pairs well with: The near death of Ben Affleck.


For a good time: